Knowing if you have an addiction

Looking at porn here and there is completely different than having a porn addiction. And the truth is, every man has seen porn one way or another. But how do you know if your porn use is becoming a problem, or worse, an addiction that you need to quit?

Here you are, wondering if your porn use is becoming a problem, asking yourself, “Am I addicted to porn?” Personally, I know men who can watch it here and there without any repercussion, but I know others who, if they watched porn, their life would fall back into hopelessness and addiction.

While porn may seem harmless, it isn’t. Studies show that excessive porn use rewires your brain’s reward circuitry and causes sexual dysfunctions like erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation. So, no, there aren’t any positive side effects of watching porn.

I was addicted to porn for nine years. It got so bad, and I would choose porn over hanging out with family, friends, and even women. It interfered with my social life, my dating life, my sleep schedule, mornings, and sometimes I’d even watch it at work.

But I didn’t realize it was a problem until five years into the addiction. I had no idea porn was the reason I was depressed, anxious, and didn’t want to do anything. It was more than a problem. It was a very real addiction that I struggled with alone for years.

Once I identified the problem, I was able to overcome it and quit porn.

That being said, here are ten ways to tell if porn is becoming a problem in your life and some of the negative effects of porn.

You Watch It More than You Used To

If you find yourself watching more porn and more frequently than you once did, it may be a sign of an addiction. Pornography is one of those things that once a man sees, instinctively, he wants to see more of it.

You might have started off watching porn once every few weeks, maybe even once a month (70% of men report having watched porn at least once per month), but now you’re watching it a few times per day. It could be more.

Just do a mental check. How often do you watch porn? If it’s almost every day, every day, or multiple times per day, you might have a porn problem.

The Videos Get More Extreme as Time Goes On

Similar to how as time goes on, you watch porn more frequently, the genres you watch get more extreme overtime as well. Meaning, when you first started looking at it, a picture of a woman topless was enough. But now, if it isn’t X, Y, or Z, it doesn’t arouse you.

If the videos have become more aggressive, or you’re watching things you aren’t typically attracted to in your everyday life, or if you’re watching videos of things you wouldn’t actually do with someone, then your taste has become extreme.

Any man who watches porn isn’t going to stay on the vanilla, soft-core stuff for long. So, ask yourself, is the content you’re watching more extreme than it once was? If yes, you might have a porn problem.

You Get Frustrated When You Can’t Watch It

What happens if you’re about to watch porn, or you’re already watching it, and something interrupts you? Do you get frustrated that you can’t finish, or does it not bother you? How would you respond if your internet provider no longer allowed porn to be streamed through their service?

A big indicator that something is more of a problem than you realize is how you act when you don’t get what you want when you want it. In fact, that frustration, irritation, or trying to find ways to access it could be a sign of porn withdrawal.

Other withdrawal symptoms include low energy, feeling groggy, lack of mental clarity, and difficulty focusing. Any time you can’t watch the porn you want to, and you experience these things, you might have a problem with porn.

You Can’t Go a Week Without Watching It

Just try this one out. Commit to going a week without porn. If it isn’t a problem for you, then a week off will be a walk in the park.

If it is a problem for you, it’ll be more of a challenge than you expect.

This is the easiest way to tell if you have a problem with porn. If you can’t go a week without watching porn and you cave because of withdrawals, then you have a problem with porn and possibly even an addiction.

When You Don’t Watch It, It’s All You Think About

Say you took the week off. Or, something came up, and you weren’t able to watch porn when you wanted to (that’s also a sign, by the way). When this happens, how much do you think about watching porn? As in, when you can’t watch it, do you wish you could?

Do you think about watching porn? Do you get excited to watch porn? It isn’t necessarily that it’s all you think about. But if you find yourself on a long day at work and an hour before closing, you’re ready to watch porn; that isn’t healthy.

If you find yourself playing scenes over in your head, fantasizing about porn you’ve watched, or dreamed you’re watching porn, you may have a problem.

You Choose Porn Over Other Things

As I said, I would choose porn over other activities. But you may not even be aware that you’re choosing porn over other things.

One thing every guy has chosen porn over is going to bed early. I’m willing to bet you watch porn the most at night. How often do you watch porn at night, but it keeps you up longer than it was supposed to?

Are you choosing a session of porn use over being with friends, family, or women? Many men who watch porn will choose porn over having sex with a woman. The reasons why men do this varies, but if it happens more than you’d like to admit (staying up until she falls asleep so you can watch it), you might have a problem with porn.

Generally speaking, if it’s interfering with your wellness routines, like sleep, eating, working out, socializing, anything like that, it could be one of the signs of porn addiction.

You’re Depressed and/or Anxious Constantly

When you watch porn and masturbate, your brain releases a surplus of dopamine and serotonin that peaks when you orgasm. One of the causes of anxiety and depression is a lack of dopamine and serotonin in your brain. That’s one reason why watching porn gets rid of anxiety, stress, and depression.

But constantly watching porn can create an unhealthy dependency on dopamine and serotonin because your brain releases copious amounts of those chemicals when you watch it that you aren’t used to. When you’re dependent (or addicted) to porn, your brain doesn’t make as much dopamine or serotonin on its own.

Less dopamine and serotonin leads to anxiety and depression. If your anxiety and depression only get better when you watch porn and feel like it’s constantly bothering you when you’re not watching, good chance you have a porn problem.

You Can’t Get An Erection Without Porn

Now, hear me out. I’m not saying you can’t get hard at all without porn. But if you aren’t watching porn and you aren’t as hard as you are when you watch it . . .

There’s a reason for this. Men are sexually aroused primarily by visual stimuli. This is why porn is so enticing because you get to look at as many naked women as you please, and there’s no limit to how many you see or how attractive the women are. This is called the Coolidge Effect. Each new woman you see is a new hit of dopamine and sexual satisfaction.

The more satisfaction, the better the erection. So, when you aren’t watching porn, you aren’t getting the constant stream of new stimulus, satisfaction, and chemical hits in your brain, which means you can’t get as erect (or erect at all) if you don’t watch porn.

So, if you watch porn to get an erection (or a better erection), you probably have a porn problem.

You Have a Hard Time Connecting with Women

If you find yourself having a difficult time establishing or building a relationship with a woman, there’s a chance it’s because of your porn use. One reason this happens is that porn interferes with your masculine energy and your testosterone levels.

Low testosterone levels mean low confidence, low energy, and more anxiety and depression. Women are attracted to confident men that keep frame and lean into their masculine energy, but each time you watch porn, you’re expelling your energy from you.

So, if it’s been a while since you’ve been on a date, or you’re having a hard time attracting women, or keeping one interested for longer than a few weeks, there’s a good chance your porn addiction is to blame.

“I Can Quit Whenever I Want”

Ah, that right there is a tell-tale sign of addiction. In fact, if you catch yourself saying that with anything, like with smoking or drinking, there’s a high chance you are addicted.

As a matter of fact is you keep telling yourself you can quit whenever you want, but when you decide to stop for a while, you end up talking yourself out of it. You think you can quit, but you know deep down either you don’t want to quit, or you can’t.

This is especially true if you declined my challenge to you to give up porn for a week. If you read that and thought to yourself, you don’t need to take a week off because you can quit whenever you feel like it, then the truth is you can’t, and porn is definitely a problem in your life.

What To Do If Porn is a Problem for You

If, after reading any of the ten points above (which are all symptoms of porn addiction), you realized porn is a problem in your life, then the best thing for you to do is simple: quit.

Now, if you are like me, you’ve already Googled “How to quit porn” more times than you can remember. You’ve read all the articles and watched all the YouTube videos about how to quit. But they don’t work.

I spent well over three years trying to quit. All was hopeless, and I had accepted defeat.

Does that sound like you?

So, if you’re ready to take back control and quit porn one and for all, then you need to follow a system and a plan of action, not some “How to quit porn in 10 steps” no-nonsense article.

Lucky for you, I created a system designed for any man; married, single, religious, non-religious, young, old; it doesn’t matter.

“What’s the system?” you ask?

Check it out here: How To Quit Porn in 30 Days and Never Relapse Again

The men who have taken it can’t believe how it’s changed the way they think about porn and how easy it makes quitting. Listen to this testimonial:

“So your masterclass has broken down the addiction cycle & how to overcome it in a way that is so much more simple than traditional addiction therapy. The person I worked with said “cold turkey” and made everything about emotions. At first, this helped me understand the process I was going through, but ultimately it caused me to continue on the path of (I’m doing good, something happens every 2-3 weeks later, ends in relapse) for over 2 years straight. 

The answers to a lot of my questions weren’t answered with traditional therapy, or I simply had discovered them myself. I’m not saying traditional therapy can’t work or doesn’t work….but the masterclass and the way your course is framed makes this battle much easier to understand, and has kept my “streak” of being free from porn 3X longer than I ever had gone before. The course explains it from the perspective of a man who has been there, done that. Traditional therapists, most often, have not personally experienced the cycle of addiction they’re helping clients with. Your course resonates with any man experiencing this, and offers methods that work. Period.” – Josh K.

Sounds too good to be true? Trust me; it isn’t. See for yourself.

If you’re interested, I offer one-on-one coaching for added accountability, support, and insight on quitting porn. Ready to give it a go? Sign up for a free coaching call (whether you get the course or not, the call is free).

Just follow this link here or send me a DM on Twitter.

It’s time to take back your life from porn.

You’ll be hearing from me very, very soon.

David F.A. | Arsenal Headmaster
Twitter @HeadMasterDFA

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