Something that I think we can all agree on is that leadership today is lacking.
Instead, its mobs running loose in the street, or politicians ruining a country, we have in our society an absolute failure in leadership. And this extends beyond the national level; this extends to the local level, extending to the family.
The more I am around and the more I see, the more I am convinced that men today and not all men, but many men today absolutely want to avoid the leadership role. For some, that is the easy route than life, I think it is easy for all it is easy, but life isn’t supposed to be easy. The failings of men to properly lead has led us to a point where things are pretty much out of control.
It requires men such as you would find in the Barbarian Rhetoric, to take a stand and make an attempt to fight back against what has become the common narrative.
I want to talk to you about leadership.
There are in business, four different types of leadership. You have direct leadership, coaching leadership, support leader, and delegate leadership. And the thing about being a true leader is that you do not master one of these four, you master all four. It does not matter if you’re running a business, a country, or a family; these four still apply.
Your mastery of these four levels will determine your decision-making authority and determine whether your spouse or your children can trust you to be the leader they need you to be.
Let us dive into these roles and see how you can apply them to your masculinity.
Directing is more of a management tool as opposed to a form of true leadership. But where it falls into play is your ability to teach someone a new way of doing things. My 17-year-old son can install a new toilet. He can install a new ceiling fan. He can roof a building here on the farm.
How does one get to that point if there is not someone around them to direct them in the proper course of action? We are not born with a skill set to successfully accomplish tasks.
The desire to accomplish these tasks we have, but the knowledge not so much. I teach my son in this method because I will make him complete the job from start to finish by himself, but under my direct supervision and direction.
Now back to installing toilets.
We had an old toilet in our housebreak, and when I say break, I mean it cracked all the way up, and porcelain was falling off in chunks. The only solution was to buy a new toilet. I figured I would take a moment and teach my boy.
I stood beside him in the bathroom and instructed him step by step. Drain the tank, cut the bolts, remove the toilet, clean the area, new wax ring on the new toilet, etc. etc. He did it all by himself, and when done, everything worked perfectly. I directed him through a task; through my direction, I taught him how to do something.
A month ago, the toilet in the master bath stopped up and would slowly drain away, and after plunging and snaking the toilet, I decided to pull the toilet and see what was going on.
After I went a bought a wax ring, I came home and pulled out my tools.
The first words out of his mouth were, “Dad; I want to do it.” I said, alright. I handed him the tools the wax ring, and I left him to it. 30 minutes later, he had the toilet working again. Perfectly. The look of pride on his face was unmatched. But as I go through the other 3 types of leadership, keep this story in mind, because you will see how each part plays a role in what happened with fixing the toilet.
Simply put is selling and communicating your idea or vision.
So, where does this come into play? In my story of changing the toilet, the coaching came into play when I communicated what my thoughts were as to the problem and gave my vision for fixing it.
Talking about the problem motivated my son to want to take action to help resolve the issue. Effective communication and clarity of vision are critical when leading your family in a specific direction.
Your wife and your children Will be much more prone to follow you without question. When they clearly understand the objective and the vision that they are set towards. An office environment or a family environment, a clear goal is always essential when leading.
Think about it yourself, if you do not have a plan and a goal, how willing are you to step forward and begin working towards something? It works the same way when you are leading your family. No one wants to blindly work towards something.
No one likes walking in the dark, wondering if they are going to stumble and fall. Your wife does not want to close her eyes and take your hand when she’s not sure where you will lead her. Coaching is quite possibly one of the most important of the four leadership types.
Supporting type is when you allow others to contribute to the workflow.
Often through some level of independence yet still answering to you. So, toilet story again. Knowing the plan and having my son volunteer to do the job, I stepped back and gave him his opportunity to contribute and prove himself.
He contributed to something that dad would typically do, and when done, the pride he wore, shined brighter than the sun. I supported him in his efforts to be productive and allowed his desire to contribute to be justified.
Ideally, though such support, he will move forward into adulthood with the same mentality he had fixing a toilet. One that says he can do it, and that he wants to do it. One that says he wants to work hard to achieve something.
Delegating is handing over control of something allowing a team member to be autonomous in their decision making.
Again, with the toilet. I left the room. I let my son decide what needed to be done when it needed to be done, and if the job was complete. I don’t believe there is a much better way to instill self-confidence, especially in our children, than by letting them accomplish something, especially on their first time by themselves.
Delegating responsibilities is crucial in developing skills that our family needs to have; it is crucial for self-development. When we go camping, one person is responsible for the fire, one for setting up the tents, one for unloading the packs, one for food, etc.
Each member of the family knows how to act independently and accomplish a larger task as a team. And any father and husband reading this already knows, the family is a team. And if any member of that team fails, the rest support them. If any member of the team gives up, it hurts the rest of them.
I challenge you to try and find a way to apply all these tactics daily into your family life. You will only make your team stronger. Your family will become stronger, and through stronger families, maybe, just maybe, we can take our society back once again.
1 Corinthians 12:12
“For as the body is one, and hath many members, and all the members of that one body, being many, are one body: so also is Christ.”
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