A joke I have heard since I was little. There is no manual on how to raise a child. Especially a firstborn child. It is a challenge to be a parent, even more so in the world we live in today, where parents are continually relearning how to care for and raise their child because of broken homes, absent fathers, and mothers.
What if there is a manual?
At one time, the manual to raise the next generation was an open resource. Your parents, as grandparents, now would help guide you along the way. They had already learned their lessons that you are stumbling through; been there done that comes to mind.
My good friend Anthony over on Peaceful Fathers has been working to change the dynamic not only with his own family. He has been helping other men with theirs. He has been working with other fathers, discussing what works to the challenges they face. Recently he has been working with a group of men, going through some books with them.
There is no one and done manual, and you may not have the help of the family. That does not mean there are no resources or guide books out there. Here below is a list of seven books to get you started. Read them, discuss them with your partner, get a group of friends together, and work through them. Use the collective knowledge to become a stronger and better parent.
Books on Parenting
Not all this information in these books is cut into stone laws. Remember, they are guidelines, keep an open mind, give an idea an honest try. Use what works.
What’s Wrong with How We Talk to Our Children–and What to Say Instead.
Words matter in our daily speech to others. We have made a huge mess of our language to the point. Bad and Good are all but flipped in meaning. What words we use to encourage & teach our children matter even more. Often we may be doing more harm than good without even realizing it.
Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason
Do we need standard punishments when a child does something terrible or reward when there is acceptable behavior? Or do we need to stop treating our child as a science experiment and work to change how they view the world around them?
A mistake or failure is only bad if you don’t learn from and grow from it. This mindset needs to be taught early on in life.
The Proven Program for Raising Responsible Children
Possibly one of the best guide books on parenting. With beginnings in 1962, P.E.T. training has over 50 years of proven techniques that work. Do you think of tapping into the knowledge of your elders? Here it is in print. Change you can change you madhouse with some work into a calmer and happier place for everyone.
Many of us have never dealt with our emotions. In doing so, we do not know how to deal with our children’s emotions.
This book will equip parents with a five-step “emotion coaching” process that teaches how to:
-Be aware of a child’s emotions
-Recognize emotional expression as an opportunity for intimacy and teaching
-Listen empathetically and validate a child’s feelings
-Label emotions in words a child can understand
-Help a child come up with an appropriate way to solve a problem or deal with an upsetting issue or situation
Teaching our children early on will give the stability they need in this world that continues to become more chaotic.
Creating a Collaborative Partnership with Your Child
Finding the balance of giving you child what they need to know to one day become independent. Knowing when to push and when to hold back is a challenge for every parent. We want to see our children succeed, though often we push so hard that they shut down. Defining the boundaries to let your child grow is an important task each parent needs to undertake.
Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers
Head into this book with an open mind. Some of the ideas presented are of a harsher tone. You, as the parent, is who your child should be looking to for guidance. Not get all there learning from their peers who are often just as lost and trying to figure things out themselves.
A parent needs to be a presence in their child’s life, not a helicopter parent who smothers them. But as one who will listen to their child with an open mind and help them work through things and answer the hard questions.
From Wimpy to Warrior the Navy SEAL Way
Way of the Warrior Kid is a three-book series about Marc, who is the wimpy kid in school who can’t seem to catch a break. That is all about to change when his Uncle Jake comes to town.
Set for middle age kids, this is still a great book to read to younger lads also. Use this story to help them change their mindset to a warrior mindset that will carry them throughout their lives.
We can all use some guildlines and guidance in lives, when raising children. There is no perfect one size fits all stratigy. You need to take what works for you and your child. Remembering that each child is different. What works for you son will not always work for your daughter.
How you raised your oldest will not be how the youngest is raised. Facts of life that you can’t go back and change. All you can do is change how you go forward with your parenting. Humanity has been around for quite a while now. Things have a way of working out; all we can do is make them possibly better.
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