Cannibals at the Gates

by Mar 5, 2020

The following write-up may be a tough pill to swallow, which is OK, considering so many men are swallowing other things that are of no benefit to them.

Let me preface by saying that I originally was going to do in depth research and base my article on historical situations, and then I thought ‘no, I’m Jayson the Argonaut, I don’t write like that.’ Let me also say that this article will be all over the place because I have the attention span of a hummingbird at a red sugar water rally so whatever comes up gets put down, and this article may read as if it was written by a schizophrenic backhoe driver hopped up on Decadane. What is Decadane? It’s a medicine I made up akin to a combination of Adderall and benzodiazapine. Why am I making up medicines at random? I told you.

Hummingbird.

In this little tidbitter of tough love and finger-in-your-face-forced-actualization I will be touching on a combo of the fictional and the non-fictional, so if you are a traditionalist who gets triggered by historical inaccuracy, don’t read this. There will never be a better Wolverine than Hugh Jackman despite him being an entire foot taller than the ‘actual’ character, so accuracy is irrelevant. To me. Should be to you as well.

“OK, Jayson we get it. You’re insane. But what is the article about?”

I’m glad you asked.

The sweaty, complete piece of shit in the above photo is what stands between your women and your children.

Yes, that is correct. This is what your society has become. Twerking in the streets, hollering about invisible oppression and the stifling of the right to be a weak, entitled, uninformed, misguided, soft and easily killable whatever the FUCK that is.

Look, this is not going to be a political article, I simply used the above photo because it speaks volumes. Not because of the word “capitalism” in the background but because of the diaphoretic licorice stick in Daisy fucking Dukes in the forefront.

My Forest Dryad (the phrase ‘My God’ is immensely overused at this point) how did we get to this? How did we ALLOW it to get to this?

Man… where do I begin…. DAMMIT I hate being an anabolic hummingbird. Breathe, Jayson.


Let’s get to the heart of the matter, because Don Henley would want that. The norm is no longer the men in the above photo. The men above were the absolute epitome of men. Not only trained in violence but comfortable with it, always ready for it and ready to deal it out to whoever dared to look at them sideways.

Some would say that it started in 2016 (nope, still not going there) but I feel that it has existed for far longer, 2016 just saw an opening of the tightly shut capsule that contained things better left buried deeper than John Wick’s past. We have an insurgence of white knights, male feminists and crying protesters, and a severe lacking of tough, educated, trained, violently capable men who eat lightning and crap thunder.

Cut me, Mick.

Let’s talk about those Spartans for a bit. These guys literally had zero time to fuck around and even less than zero desire to do so. They were born and bred for war, period. They were a military first and foremost because at any time some entitled asshole could “march” in and overwhelm them and then enslave their women and children. Do you want your women and children enslaved? Because Brian in the first photo is how you get enslavery.

There once was this dude, we will call him Xerxes, who decided “hey I’m an overly religious, entitled little prick who doesn’t have enough stuff so I think I’ll go out and conquer the known world, because mommy issues.” I am paraphrasing, of course, but it was something along those lines. One of the places this oiled up trust fund boy decided to attack was Sparta, but here’s the thing: in the words of Boromir son of Denethor “one does not simply walk into Sparta.” Again I’m paraphrasing but it comes down to the fact that you can’t just walk into a city and start throwing rings at people. Xerxes could have saved himself a metric shit ton of trouble and embarrassment, but this was long before the time of Boromir son of Denethor so Xerxes couldn’t have known this. Man, I am WAY over in left field.

So, Xerxes son of Lookatdees (because seriously, you had to have some balls on you to threaten Sparta) sends a messenger with a couple of extras to let King Leonidas know that they were coming for his land. Now, if we have learned anything from history it’s that one does not simply fuck with Leonidas.

Thanks again, Boromir.

So, Leonidas and the messenger, we will call him Doctore, exchange words that involve threatening Leonidas and his people with slavery and death, Leonidas gets triggered (which wouldn’t have taken much to begin with) and kicks him into a well. Why? I just told you: because you don’t fuck with Leonidas.

So, Leonidas decides that this kind of behavior from entitled fuck-boys is absolutely unacceptable and decides to take the fight to Xerxes and his cat-eyed betas. So he gets 300 of his best men and they go to battle at Thermopylae, a pass in which you can funnel soldiers with learning disabilities, comparable to the hordes of opponents in any given Bruce Lee film, until one has smote them down in droves, which is exactly what the Spartans did before they got flanked and annihilated by Brian Xerxes’s army.

OK, I brought that to a close rather quickly because Don Henley is tapping me on the shoulder and pointing to his Timex. Here is the deal:

We are lacking strong men, and not only that, strength and masculinity are not only frowned upon in today’s society but are attributed to being toxic, when in reality strong, masculine men are paramount to the survival of a society. You can holler like a cow in heat about the “Patriarchy” all you want Diane, but it does nothing to change the fact that Patriarchy in one form or another is necessary.

Believe me when I say that they are coming for you. They are coming for you to come for your women and children, you’re just something in the way. By “they” I mean the savage motherfuckers who wake up early every morning to train with the sole intent to overtake your weak ass so that they make use of your land, the land upon which they will rape your wives, sons and daughters.

Holy shit, that got real QUICK didn’t it?

Yeah, hummingbird bullshit aside, I’m being real with you. While you’re doing whatever the fuck all you’re doing that is less than productive, these savages are mounting up for war, because they have that “long time ago” mindset that never got unlearned, i.e. they never got soft. Xerxes was soft, but he was soft with an army, so if an army of frillies can almost take over an entire country via unrelenting fervor, imagine what cannibalistic, warmongering fucktrucks can do to your lazy, whiny asses.

Look guys, much like a marriage that a woman has decided is over, there is nothing we men can do about the current situation. Zero. But what we can do is work to improve and strengthen ourselves and the men around us who we have a chance of saving. We may fall, as fear inducing as that sounds, but we fall with no excuses, much like the 300 Spartans. We have it in us to embrace that fire that burns strong and leads us towards our purpose to break the shackles of society and shun the complete and utter bullshit that it attempts to force on us and make us helpless.

We are not toxic, we are not obsolete, we are not unnecessary, and we are not to be overtaken. We are leaders, protectors, conquerors and enforcers. It is our duty to protect our women and children, not to twerk in the streets in the name of feminism so that we can be bombarded and destroyed by cannibalistic savages. It is our duty to train to be strong and dangerous. It is our duty to be leaders of other men who have what it takes to be among us and teach them their purpose in establishing a bastion of hope for the future.

The barbarians are at the gate, we must be barbarians in return. We must be the force that stands between our loved ones and those who would take them from us and eliminate us from this world. The Spartans understood this, it is imperative that we understand the same.

I am Jayson “the Hummingbird” the Argonaut, and I have spoken.

Twitter @the_primal_fire
IG @the_primal_fire

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