Does the unicorn of a woman exist?
You see other men who have great wives, LTR’s, GF’s, and they seem to be the perfect woman. You wonder where you can find one of these women, where are they hiding, what does what have to do to attract one of these mythical creatures?
Young men look around today at the girls in their age group, and many shake their heads in disgust at what they see. The list of debauchery is long for many girls of today. When you look at social media and what mainstream media is pushing. You would think you would never have a chance at finding a wholesome girl.
Middle age to older men, who have been through a divorce or, even worse, keep themselves in a slowly killing relationship. Often have two viewpoints once out of these relationships or having a defeatist attitude. One, they become very jaded toward women to the point of all but hating them all. Two, say to hell with it and go on a sexual bender.
Neither hating women nor sexual benders are long-term sustainable strategies. Both will end up destroying you in the long term. You can have your moment of being angry, yet realize that anger will spill over into everything else in your life, and it’s not worth it. Sexual benders take work, a lot of work, and when you are not careful, the rest of your life will start to fail.
Shit happens, time to move on, use these early relationships’ failures as lessons, and stepping stones to create a better relationship. Young men listen to the older men who have gone through the troubles and learn from their mistakes that way, do not repeat them yourself—a novel concept of listening to your elders that could save you a lot of pain.
A good possibility you have been asking the wrong questions and looking in the wrong places. How does a man become sustainable with their relationship with a woman? And even find her in the first place?
She is Made
Here is the simple crux of the matter, men think that women happen to be dam near perfect from the start. They see men with incredible partners, they don’t see all the work it took to get them to that point. Are some women better suited than others? Yes, I would be lying if I said otherwise.
Often the younger the woman, the less she has been exposed to corruption if she had good parents. This builds a good foundation; however, it does not stop there. You have to continue to build on this foundation of stability. The catch is that you can never stop. Also, you can not slack as the leader—two critical things to remember.
As a woman ages and or exposed to social media or the college experience, and if she has no moral ground to hold her steady, no stable leadership. She will often cave to the pressures of society. Even though in her heart, she knows what she truly desires.
You are going after your first wife, or the first go around with marriage ended up being a failure. You have created your list of what you want in a woman. The chance that you find one with everything on it? IMO is Zero. There is always something that needs to be work on, worked through, negotiations made. Perfect does not exist.
You are better off to look at your list and decide on a few key points, then work to be flexible and think about whether there is a possibility of working on getting what you want.
The other hard part is looking in at oneself, what do you need to change to attract the woman you desire. You need to be putting in the work to become a better man, leader, father, the rock in a storm. Especially if you have already had one failed marriage. Those who are starting out with no baggage have the advantage of working through things together.
Men now think about something, do you really think you will find your unicorn on a dating app? The woman you can take home to meet the parents? I wonts say it is not possible; chances are tho that is not why she is there. And if you encounter a good one on there, are you willing to put in the work?
I believe this is where men fail to find good women. They are not willing to put in the work. They want the easy fix of a dating app that speeds things up. Looking for a casual fling, one-nighter, or something along those lines, then you are in the right place. Looking for a long term relationship takes more effort.
Another thing to keep in mind for the online world when you are looking there is the pool of women is only a percentage of all the single women. There are many more women in the world, and if you are wanting a decent one. You need to change your tactics and clear your head of all the online bullshit you read.
Get out from behind your keyboard and off your phone. Starting putting yourself in places to meet women. Talking to them in person. No, I am not saying chase a hundred women up in a day walking up down the sidewalk or hitting the dive bars and clubs.
I am talking if you like to do athletic activities, get out, do them, and speak to the women there. Historic sites and museums a place of interest? or how about the park? Maybe the race track? Martial arts? Gym? What activities do you like to do? These are the places you begin.
Some would call this social game. I say it’s part of life, getting out showing that you’re available. Put the work in start making the connections, and you will be pleasantly surprised that you may run into your unicorn in the making.
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