Does life ever feel like a train wreck? Train cars everywhere, no order to anything death and destruction all around. That is the end of the world as you know it, I know this feeling very well.
I will soon be 45, I have been examining my life and different phases of it, I used to think of my life as a bit of roller coaster. The day to day could be described a bit like that. But when looking over the decades I can clearly see some major train wrecks that happened.
I was 18 when I moved out the house and went to trade school to become an auto/diesel mechanic. I thought I had life by the balls, In one of those periods that I thought I new everything. If you’re an older man reading this you know what I am talking about, younger men the sooner you realize you don’t know anything the better off you will be. Thing is I had good support of my family. I paid most of my bills – yet they help me financially when they could. My Uncles helped me out with my rent while in school. Weekends I would either head home or to my Grandmothers. Finally, I moved to where I had some family and commuted to school.
Life was good till about my mid-20s. Then for several reasons I started to push friends and family away. This is when the first train wreck of my life happens. I was not happy with any job, I thought the world owed me something. I kept trying to take short cuts in life and ended up worse off each time. I thought it was time to get married and instead of finding a good woman to start and raise a family. I thought I could save a woman who had kids, automatic family overnight. I at the time did not want any of my own. Many poor decisions made back to back will kill a weak man.
When I turned 28, I knew I had to change things around. My bright idea was, I needed to finally go to college. Not knowing any good way to pay for this and thinking the military would be a good thing also, I joined up. I do find this ironic, no longer have to worry about being drafted, Year after expiration date of my draft card I joined. Life throws you some twists, On the good side of this the military help me get my life back on track, get the rest of my life in order. Now looking from the outside in might of thought this was a bad time. I ended up separated, living on couches, then a trailer. I worked hard, gamed to much, drank to much. Wasted all kinds of time. College fell just short of associates degree. Truth is, was a great time of life for me, wasted time, possibly, I enjoyed it though.
As my military stint ended, I started to lose my stability once again. Several poor choices made, next thing you know life is back to being a full on train wreck. This one worse than the last train wreck of my life.
I am not sure if I woke up one day going “This isn’t right.” or it was many days of going “I can’t live like this.” Weak men off themselves, that is for the weak. Strong men make a plan and move forward.
Moving forward is not always a quick thing, some day you may move three steps forward and end up moving two back, thing is your one step further than the day before and that is progress. You must take a hard look at your life. Evaluate what is wrong with it. Then start to implement actionable steps to fix it. Then key point – do them – follow through.
Here are some things I did to pull myself out of the train wreck
- Reached out to family
- Working with in the community building relations
- Quit hanging out with people who brought me down
This led to me
- Getting fit
- Eating better
- Cleaning myself up
I went as far as I could on my own to fix things. My family, community, new friends helped me get to the next phase of my life. This is when I decided that I wish to avoid train wrecks in the future. That I needed to find or build a tribe of men to rely on and help me.
This is where I am at today. Life is good, up and downs still happen, these bumps are minor.
The key point here, is that you do not have to go it alone. Nor should you go it alone. In fact you need to surround your self with those that can help you succeed in in life. The chances of a million dollars falling into your lap is all but nonexistent. You are what makes changes in your life, you must reach out to those that can help you. You decide what path to greatness needs to be taken.
Agnitio Veritas Macto