Learning To Talk In A Actionable Way

by Dec 21, 2020


Great discussions get one’s mind to thinking, and recently I discussed with some men who like to dig into the meat of things. One of the topics I brought up was learning to talk to women and sales. Often they are the same.

Many men, myself included in my younger years, had or have issues talking to women; this can stem from a long list of reasons, with a plethora of books writing about it. Both men and women have their angle on how best to approach the problem of not being able to the opposite sex and fix it.

I just did a quick search on Amazon for Sales Books (1-48 of over 100,000 results for “sales books”), and it merely capped it. There is a book for every flavor of sales, with new ones coming out almost daily. All are working to sell you on the art of making more sales. Do you think that all of these books hold a hundred thousand different ways or more that they teach you the same thing in different voices?

Keep It Simple

Reading many books on talking to women and making sales all boils down to a straightforward rule. You have to talk. This rule is so simple that people dismiss it offhand. Can it be that simple? The brain rails against you, saying no, it can’t be this easy. Yet will every book on the matter it comes down to talking. 

Think back to when you were a child; how did you learn to talk? If you are like me, you can not remember back that far. However, you I’am sure observed siblings or friends. May even have children of your own. How do children learn to talk? Those older that know how to talk. Talk to them. Notable, isn’t it, that you can learn an entire language by being spoken to regularly. 

Children quickly learn that if they want something to start using words, get what they want. How as we age does this differ in any way? What along the path of life crushes this simplicity out of us? Want to make the sale? What to get the woman? What a better relationship with your woman? Then you must talk. 


What holds us back from talking? Fear. Why are we fearful? Did we grow up saying the wrong things and found it easier to shut up and not say anything. Do you have a sensitive ego, and you are afraid of rejections at any level? Can you not bear to be told no? 

There are many reasons that one can have to fear. As a man, you can fear: however, you must learn to overcome the fear if you wish to move forward in your life. 

Now you do not have to be the most talkative chatterbox to every person you come in contact with; At times, I would say that isn’t very pleasant. Being able to strike up a conversation with someone when you do come in contact with them is a superpower. With this superpower, you easily overcome your fear. 


Better your speaking skills are why I think reading books on these matters is essential. They can help teach you etiquette in speaking to people. They can give you pointers on how to lead a conversation. Take you through scenarios to get where you want. Be it a phone number from a cute girl or sell a bit of software to a company that did not realize they needed it. 

You can read all the books in the world on women and sales; however, there is something greater than these books. That is taking action.

Let’s back up a moment, and I will give you a running start. That way, it will help you when you decide the type of book you wish to purchase to help you out—refining this search to hone your skills faster. 


Do you wish to improve your talking skill so you can approach the girl of dreams and not stammer? I alluded to this earlier, and I shall expound. Start talking to all women. Yes, all of them, old, young, ugly, cute, bland, bombshells, all women you come in contact with, related to, friends, the gal at the check out counter. Get used to talking to all women. 

When the time comes, and you wish to talk to your dream girl, there will be nothing to stop you because she is a woman, and you not only talk to women by then you will enjoy talking to them. 

Already have the women of your dreams? Yet the years seem to destroy the dreams you once had of her? Do you feel like you barely know the woman you are married to for years? Well, then when is the last time you had a conversation with her? Being both able to sit back, be quiet, listen to her talk, and then talk to her. Newsflash, neither of you are mind readers. You need a two way street of conversation going, and not with just general things. 


The simple part of sales is offering something and not be afraid of being told no. How does one get better at it? Well talking, of course, improving on how you interact with people, words have strength, and using those words can bend a person to your way of thinking. 

At the base level bending a person’s mind to your way of thinking sounds like you have evil intent. For some, this is true. The reality, though, is we are all selling something; often, it may be you are selling yourself, which you can not get around. 

Daily you sell yourself, for work, for friends, for family, to everyone you come in contact with you are showing what you offer. What you offer might only be that you are a hard worker and get things done. You may show a woman that you are a strong provider and protector. Or you could be selling the most incredible gag ever that makes people laugh. 


With the thousands of books to choose from, how does one pick out which to read? Some books stand the test of time on how to talk. In comparison, others centered on the here and now. I have found exciting books on how to talk to women are some of the best books to apply the tactics to sales. 

It makes a person wonder, which came first books on teaching you how to sell better or teach you to talk to women. 

A fun simple book in this arena The Book Of Pook

Another book I read recently, Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion looking at talking from the angle of how we influence people. Influence is important. 

Minced Words

I leave you with one last thought for the realm of talking. “Game” is often brought up in both dealing with women and sales. Do yourself a favor and don’t get caught up in the hype of “game.”  

“Game” is the word confidence rebranded. 

Nothing more

Any book, blog, essay, or anywhere you read the word “game,” replace it with confidence, and you will start to understand. 

Now take these simple thoughts out and start talking to people. You will see your confidence change, and people will start to react to you differently. 

Written by Nathan
Twitter @steeljanz
IG @barbarianrhetoric


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