There are two primitive things that the human brain rewards you for with sweet, sweet dopamine – eating food and having sex. You eat food so you can survive, and you have sex so your name can survive. At one point in history, these were the only things that mattered. And at one point in history, this is all man needed to pursue.
Now, the brain is a weird and mysterious thing. It rewards you for desires that you should already be naturally pursuing. If you must eat food every day, why the dopamine? Consider it a “thanks” for staying alive. Your brain wants you to indulge in its most basic desires frequently, so that’s why you’re rewarded.
I am not going to tell you when and how and who you should be having sex with, you are a man, and that is your decision to make. I have no intention or plan to intervene in that domain.
That being said, I am here to tell you something that is pertaining to your desire to have sex.
This modern, western society that many have grown to love (and hate) is filled with an abundance of sex appeal. Now, as men, we are already thinking about sex an awful lot. There’s no changing that, and the honest truth, we shouldn’t want to change that. However, some men want to change that for one simple reason: they are addicted to porn.
Porn is Unnatural.
No matter how much you watch, you should quit.
It does not occur in the natural world, and there are no benefits or incentives to indulge in it, other than the fact that your brain isn’t so smart after all; you see, when you are watching porn, your brain doesn’t know the difference between it and the real deal.
You subconsciously believe that you are having sex. So, “naturally,” your brain rewards the act by flooding your brain with dopamine, rewiring your brain to desire more porn for more dopamine, and this is how any addiction is formed.
Like many of you, I was introduced to this seductive world of pornography by merely stumbling across it accidentally at a young age. I didn’t know any better. The women were pretty, it made my dick hard, and the orgasm and dopamine put me over the edge, so I kept returning to it. I was so young; I was shooting “blanks” – so, I’d say about ten years old.
Over time, this new discovery of pleasure and fantasy turned into an addiction. I would spend late hours into the night searching, and searching, and searching for the next hit. But it wasn’t just at night, but during the day, at least twice daily. I was an addict. I couldn’t stop. I wanted to, but I didn’t know-how.
I took to the internet to understand what I was going through and subjecting myself to – and through my searching, I learned that my brain was rewired by pornography. The way I viewed women and interacted with them had been reduced to ash because of porn.
Once I became aware of this, I started to notice it in my daily life, and it was true. When I was deeply stuck in my addiction, I didn’t even need to risk talking to the real women I liked, because I knew, at home (or a restroom if I were desperate enough) behind a closed door, there “she” was, waiting for me.
The “she” was porn. I didn’t need to pursue or talk to or even look at women in real life because I could watch porn instead.
I lived like this for just over eight-years. And this was while I was in middle school, in high school, and just started college. I was wasting my life on porn. My younger years were blemished by porn; years, I can never get back. I knew, deep within myself, I had to quit. I knew I had to change my life before porn ruined it even more.
As I said above, a man should not wish his sex drive away; but a man addicted to porn will pray every night that his sex drive vanishes completely. I know, because that’s what I did.
All the years, I spent researching what porn was doing to my brain. After years of attempts at having accountability partners and internet blocking software to aid me in my fight, after years of only making it a few weeks porn free, something finally clicked.
I had just got back from swimming one day and needed to shower afterward. I turned the water on, and while waiting for it to heat up, I was casually browsing my socials. This, of course, turned into switching into incognito-mode on my browser. One thing led to another, and next thing I knew, I was watching porn.
I had just started scrolling through things, searching after the novelty that would seal the deal. But then, out of nowhere, something crossed my mind. And I’ll never forget the thought.
“This isn’t going to satisfy me after I finish.”
Do you know what I did, for the first time in 8 years that I never had the strength prior to do? I closed the browser, turned off my phone, and got in the shower without masturbating to porn. That was the day my life changed for good.
The Battle and Temptation
Sure, it wasn’t just a simple cold-turkey. I had to fight against my urges to indulge. You don’t just walk over from porn after being held captive by it for damn near nine years. It is a war, and I had to fight against it with everything in me.
All those years of reading what it’s like coming out of porn addiction, all the benefits, the rewiring, the change in my mindset, everything, I started to notice in a matter of months. I was more confident, my workouts were better, and I could finally start talking to women (and beautiful women, at that) without breaking a sweat.
I can tell you with absolute confidence that I quit porn. Does it still tempt me here and there? Yes. It, more than likely, always will. But I no longer give in to those temptations. It is a mere fleeting thought. In fact, the very idea of watching porn disgusts me. I hate porn and what it did to me for so long. But I found a way out, and there’s no looking back.
A New Man
My life has changed. I am a new man, a masculine man, a confident man, a strong man. I am a barbarian.
Why am I telling you all this?
Because I want you to know that quitting porn is absolutely possible, if you, for years, have tried unsuccessfully to stop, I have good news for you. Everything I learned along the way through my research on the topic, the exact course of action and strategies I used to quit porn, I have available to you.
In my ebook, Quit porn in 10 Steps, not only do I provide you with the ten steps I took to quit my porn addiction, but I break down the reality of the addiction, the mentality of the addiction, and the benefits of quitting porn.
In the ebook, I ask you hard-hitting questions. I help you figure out why you watch, and what underlying habits make it hard for you to quit, such as your viewing habits. I break done the triggers that are holding you captive and how to avoid them.
It isn’t just ten steps to quit porn. This is the first step in changing your life for the better. I am a new man now that I am porn free. My best life couldn’t have begun had I never quit.
It’s time for your best life to begin, too.
David F.A. | Arsenal Headmaster
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