Quit The Desire To Change Your Past

by Apr 7, 2021

Logic of Change

I see something quite regularly on social media from respectable men that I would consider high caliber that actually bothers me about them. In some way, shape or form the debate over rather you would want something, say money, or go back to a certain age with all of your current knowledge.

90% of them, without hesitation, say go back to said age with current knowledge. The latest one I have seen was ten years old. This, to me, is the most selfish topic that a group of men that talk about family, honor, tribe, and code could discuss. I understand the premises behind it but let us dig into it.

This does nothing but showcase your unhappiness with your current life. I have mentioned this, and people go on the defense. ‘it’s just hypothetical”, “it can’t really happen,” “what’s your problem”? My problem is that you are trying to be an influencer, a guru, sell your eCourses, your eBooks, on how to make men what they need to be, on how they should act, or what they need to eat; but you, you are willing to give it up?

It makes you look like a con artist. Honestly, many of you are. You figured out how to write what some man somewhere wants to hear and sell them that. I am not here to judge you for it, you figured out a business model, and it is working for you. I know few men that actually live what they preach, but I am not here for that.

I see those of you that are willing to give up every experience you have had to gain your current wisdom in exchange for easy wisdom and no effort to get there. You would be willing to trade yourself for what you teach against; yeah, you are a hypocrite.

You would really give up your business, your wife, your children for a chance of giving yourself a boost—a cheat code. Now I understand that this is not possible, the time travel thing, but it is a testament to character.

Maybe I just view things differently.

I grew up dirt floor poor. My bedroom floor had a hole in it that we tried to keep stuffed with blankets to keep the possums and the raccoons out in the winter. We had a kerosene heater in the living room where my dad and stepmom slept. I would stay up at night to make sure nothing got through the floor; if it did, my stepmom would get mad at me. As soon as dad left for work, I was going to get it.

We were locked out of the house during the summer. We got fed after dad got home from work and anything we found outside. Thank goodness our neighbor let us raid their garden. We drank from the water hose. Dad never believed us when we told him, but that is a whole other topic.

When I was 12, I went to live with my mom, and my dad left the state. It would be 4 years until I saw him again. My stepdad was a hardworking man that taught me a lot—a really good person when he was sober. Drunk him was a whole other thing. Nothing like being 16 and the first time a loaded gun is placed to your head. With the promise that you would not live to see the next sunrise.

No Regrets

Am I complaining? Absolutely not. These are all the things that shaped me into what I am today. I was married at 18 when I was in the army. She was 16, her parents signed. They just wanted her out of the house. I figured out why too. We were divorced by the time I was 21. My mom died when I was 19. Stepdad went to prison for second-degree murder. I still did not have a relationship with my dad.

Got out of the army in 2004 and spent a year homeless. Made the trip back home thanks to my uncle. Got back on my feet, met up with an old ex, got married again. She left me 2 weeks later. Homeless again for over a year this time. Sleeping on couches and beside the train tracks in Thomasville, North Carolina.

The amount of wisdom that I gained by 25 years old is phenomenal. Would I go back to ten with what I know in order to give myself an advantage? Absolutely not. Without those experiences, I would not have developed the moral character that I am.

Experience

If you think knowledge of an event is the same as experiencing it, you are sorely mistaken. Knowledge and wisdom are two very different things. To go back and change anything from my past would change who I am today. No amount of money is worth that.

My advice to all of you is simple. Be thankful for where you are at in this moment. Even if it is in a bad place, it is wisdom being created. Do not spend your time thinking about what you could have been; focus on who you are. If you do not like who you are, you are in luck; most people do not, and the incredible thing is, you can always work on yourself and change things for the better.

As for me, I am happy where I am. Wife, kids, farm, and Jesus. I would not change a thing about my past or my current life. Would more money be nice? Sure. That is why I am doing my best to fix where I am and make more money. And I am using wisdom and experience to do it.

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Questions or Thoughts? Leave them in the comments.

Padre

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