Descending Spiral

One article in eighty-one days, not good at all, especially when I was churning out three to five articles a week; I am not talking about other authors, only myself. For Padre has been cranking along through thick and thin. He is sharing his incredible journey over the last several weeks. 

What happened to me I came to realize was that apathy kicked in when it came to writing, and then with this discovery, I also realized that apathy bit me concerning my online store Barbaric Soap. Which yesterday cost me some money. I will come back to that in another article.  

Both a good and rough year, I can not say bad. Similar to Padre, I have had some struggles along the way. Online ventures are not going the way I wanted for a myriad of reasons. I returned to what I know best. 

First, back to doing some truck driving for a local farmer that went from a few hours a week to an almost full-time job. Second, doing some handyman work has filled a lot of my other spare time. The article on that project will blow your mind – stay tuned.

Apathy

Now let us look at what apathy is because I think it necessary to know the difference between apathy and a change of interest. In a recent podcast with Tex, we touch on this subject. #63 Barbarian Banter w/Tex

Definition of apathy

1: lack of feeling or emotion: IMPASSIVENESS

2: lack of interest or concern: INDIFFERENCE

What started as me getting busy and saying to myself I will get around to it tomorrow. Then, it slowly turned into why am I even doing this anymore. I would sit down to write, and there was nothing there; a part of me said I have written about all these thoughts before why write them again. I did not feel like I had anything new to write about anymore. 

Even when I felt I had something to write about, the lack of being in the groove allowed distractions to take over. I gave myself excuses that I am tired, worn out, and it was a long day; I will write tomorrow. Well, tomorrow came and went, and still, nothing was done till today. Today is the day that tomorrow happened. 

I have taken an honest hard look at why I have this website and my online store. The answer is I want them to exist, so I have to make that happen. The apathy that had snuck in and bit me, though, has full-on big my largest struggle to shake off. For even as I knew I wanted, the lack of interest far outweighed the need to make it happen. 

Distractions

On paper, I have been quite busy. I have lost count of how many books I have read recently. I even picked up kindle unlimited from Amazon to justify costs better for the number of books I was interested in reading. 

A bit of tv/videos also watched several seasons of Billions (which is a great show IMO) even did a podcast about it #50 The Good and Evil of Power. I have also gone back and forth with anime over the years. So yes, I like a good anime now and then. The problem here is that it became a significant distraction to my overall mission. 

That is the problem with distractions; most of the time, you have a good reason (or you think you do) why you should indulge in them. Mine was I was tired and wiped out at the end of the day and wanted to sit back and chill. No different than Netflix and chill, only a different medium. Yep, I got caught in one of the things I preach against often. 

Beware of distractions; I even came to realize they were distractions, and this is back to why I feel that apathy got such a hold on me. I didn’t care—an unhealthy place to be in one’s life, especially when it comes to your overall mission. 

The Good

Finance

Now let’s talk about the good. For you see, in the last few weeks, even as apathy grew for the website and online store, other things in my life took an uptick. Which overall is good, right? The question here is, does doing it help you overall with your mission. One must take a hard look at all the areas in your life.

Financially I am probably in one of the best places I have been in several years. It has been a rollercoaster ride for sure, and I have had to move my goal post to where I wanted to be several times. Finally, however, I see the light at the end of the tunnel to where I want to be, which is an excellent place to be in my book. 

All the reading was perfect for me; it helped center my mind again in a lot of ways. Which I feel became a bit unbalanced. I was in constant creation mode with all most zero consumption. Which one would think is an excellent place to be, and for a short time is, however, staying in constant creation mode leads to burnout. So you need to have intentional relaxing time built into your schedule. 

My Son

He got his first job this past summer, working at a hog farm. I have seen a change in him the last few weeks. He is growing mentally by leaps and bounds. It is a beautiful thing to behold. I am getting to the point in our relationship only to be a guide now.

I have gotten to see everything I have been trying to teach him over the last several years. He is now applying. It is a good feeling when you realize that your children were listening and paying attention.

A more precise mission of his future is coming into focus for him, and I will be pleased to see it come to fruition. 

The Podcast

If you have not already noticed on the landing page of Barbarian Rhetoric, The BR Podcast has taken a bit more prominent spot. I am thankful to have JimeeGee and CJ as cohosts as we work to have a weekly cast. Along with guests on occasion. This format that we have fallen into for lack of better words feels right and what is needed. 

If it were not for Jayson (Missions Is Legacy) so long ago kicking me in the ass to get this going and holding my hand to make sure it did, it would probably still only be an idea that I was talking about, instead of doing. Action wins out over thoughts 99% of the time. 

I’m not done writing, for it has its place. I think that talking things out with friends and guests leads to many different ideas being presented at once. So check it out when you get some time; we will have you laughing your ass off and thinking deeply, sometimes at the same time. 

Upward

I am finally shaking the apathy off, back to taking action and working on getting back on track with my mission. If anything to learn from this article today, look at what you are doing in your life. Have your interests changed? or has apathy gotten its claws in you? Are you working on your mission the way you know it needs to be done?

You should instinctively know what the right path is. You may not think you realize you are spiraling down. However, I would say your gut is telling you that you are; the question is will you listen. 

Remember, once you realize it, it’s not easy to shake the apathy off. It takes action, like writing this article. 

AUTHOR

Questions or Thoughts? Leave them in the comments.

Nathan
Twitter @steeljanz
IG @barbarianrhetoric

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