1 Timothy 5:8 “But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.”
These words, spoken by Timothy, point to a natural part of most men. At what used to be a natural part of men. The deeply ingrained urge to provide for our clan. We are commanded by God to work, to teach, to lead, and to be strong. These things combined lead to the provision of our own house.
Often when this Bible verse is used, it is used to clarify that a man needs to have a job and earn a living. While I do not refute that, I recognize this verse calls for so much more from a man. This verse summarizes this entire miniseries and everything out there regarding being a husband and a father.
Far too often, provision is considered to be material, and I am guilty of that definition as well. It has only been recently that I have come to understand that provision implies so very much more. I have been under the impression that love and compassion are altogether separate things from the active provision.
In actuality, the two are mutually inclusive of one another. But that is how we are trained to categorize things into the report fields and their separate boxes. As men, we tend to separate everything versus seeing the bigger picture and realizing that it is all one in the same and tied to the mandate given to us by our creator.
Just yesterday, I had to have a talk with my oldest son. He has received the unique opportunity at 17 years old to have an $11 an hour job working 40 hours a week. Here lately, I’ve noticed he’s been slacking off and not helping around the house.
When I approached him about this, he proceeded to tell me, but he was tired, and then he felt like I didn’t do my share because I don’t go to work as a 9:00 to 5:00 every day. And while I do not discuss my finances with my children, I brought my oldest son into my office and pulled up every account that I have.
From gumroad to different affiliate sites, from my candle site to my receipt book of items sold that day. I showed him where I had made more money than him, all while I sat at home and did nothing in his mind.
Two things happened, one, I shut down his attitude. And two, I watched the realization dawned on him, then it was possible to make money while not working for someone else.
Several things occur during that interaction. I showed mercy for his attitude; I showed patience when he was accusing, I showed compassion by not responding negatively. I educated him by teaching a new life lesson in the modern Internet world. I showed love by doing all of the above.
One thing I have learned from having a teenager is that I sucked as a teenager. I now understand while my mother stayed so frustrated at me. And why she always reacted the way she did, with love.
I also learned from that scenario that while I knew a man had to be accountable, and never really dawned on me that I may have to be accountable to my own family. I think I just trusted and thought that they trusted me.
And while this is not a bash against me or lack of trust from my family, it resolidified what I know about people, and that is people like to see your progress, especially when they’re relying on you.
Instead of being upset or offended at what my son did, karma, I am immensely proud of him. Because what he has done is developed a masculine mentality that wanted to ensure that his clan or family is being provided for.
My son is the type of kid that if I went up to him and said I need $200 for the light bill, he would give it to me without question. At 17 years old, my son has developed a masculine mentality that eludes grown men in our modern society.
Forgive me if I pat myself on the back a little; I think I have done a fine job turning my son into a man that is so desperately needed. Last night, my interaction with him solidified in me the belief that he can be the husband and father that a woman requires him to be.
Last night, my interaction with him gave me comfort and the fact that my son can make it in this world as the patriarch the world needs. I am comforted in knowing that my grandchildren will be provided for. I am comforted in knowing that whatever woman he marries and brings into our clan will be well cared for.
And the biggest lesson I learned from all this is that the confirmation of years of hard work will come when you least expect it. That there will come the point in time where every father will know whether they have succeeded or failed their children.
It’s up to you as to whether you succeed or fail.
For those that would like to support Barbarian Rhetoric, click here SUPPORT